Montenegro before and after

Usually, when you rent an old house with idea of putting a restaurant in it, you first have to convince the owner that you have the money to pay the rent if things don't go well (him or her knowing that they probably will not), then convince the owner that you really need to take down allot of walls and make holes in the floor, cieling, and walls. These things are considered "damages" to the owner of the home. To you they are, however, "improvements". Here is our proposal of the façade of the Gonzalez house. Keep in mind that Mr. Gonzalez owns a chain of theaters, restaurants, Cable company, and lord knows what else, so he's ganno be skepticle. Also keep in mind that he approached me and not visa versa, so this whole thing was his idea. He probably was not thinking about something so far out, or maybe he was. We'll see.

This is a pic of my wife in front of the house. It has allot of caracter. Screams "retro" and "formal" and, I think, "sexy".



This is what we are going to ask to do. Yes, the dogs will be real Great Danes, Harlequins, and there will really be an elephant topiary outside. Two dogs, three chandeliers, some moulding around the door, a wall full of plants, and you have it.

Sexy Food

If this were food it would a perfect fruit served with little or no dressing. Mt Ranier cherries served on vanilla ice cream with hot fudge. Figs are in season now, and will be for a month or two. If it were savory it would have to be seared foie gras and carmelized figs, flambé.

She's asian, frozen lychees, or Lobster Pot Stickers. What would you feed her? Look at her face and tell me what she wants. Lemongrass soup with Lobster and papaya or Papaya Kimchi (for heat). Oh yeh, she likes it spicy, you can see it in her eyes. Maybe just Sashimi of Toro with ginger-serrano chile-soy sauce. Warm poached oysters with a sake-lime sabayon sauce. Big eye tuna, scantilly clad in puffed rice with corriander, seared and glazed in spicy carrot broth. This has to eaten with real chop sticks. She looks like "Surimi".

MMMMMM. She's in New York. It's Fall, cloudy out...getting cold at night. She needs a rich hot chocolate with homemade marshmallows, right now! While she's drinking that, get her a toddy. Make it something to go with the chocolate. Make it something she's going to drink though. Can't be tequila, something to warm her up, King louis XIII. Now a bowl of warm broth. She picks it up with both hands and sips it without a spoon. It warms the palms of her hands, and then her lips, mouth, throut, stomach. The soup is consommée with little agnolottis filled with truffled quail egg yolks. The consommé is garnished with morels and little onion flowers...oops it's fall, no morels and no onion flowers either. How about thin sliced Kobe Filet Shabu. For the main course? She eats meat. No way she's a Veeg. If she is, she's no good for you anyway. Might as well find out now. Make it Steak au Poivre with brandy cream sauce, already sliced so she won't have to use a knife. Serve with asparagus? I hate that, but it works. Certainly not creamed spinach or corn. She is from the south though. She would eat fried food. How about "just the tip" of the asparagus fried in light tempura and garnished with lemon zest and fried capers. She's yours. Creme Brûlée for dessert.

What is this? A samba? Hell, the food's already on the table. She's not going to slow down enough to eat! Latin Twist. Watta we got here, coconuts, mangos, fresh fish. Louis Martelli and the Continentals. How about whole Fried Snapper "sarandeado". Wild white Pacific U15 Shrimp Cocktail. Ice cold Oysters on the half shell with three sauces (mignonette, sake-lime, ginger-soy). Now you've got her. If she'll eat oysters...well. Keep her watered, shot o' tequila, Don Julio white, or maybe something from our country, a Ramos Gin Fizz. Plato Fuerte? God I can't get coconut shrimp out of my head!!!! It is the power of christ that compells you! Fish head fish heads rolly polly fish heads...Banana boat come and I wanna go home...Juantana mena, juajita juantanamena, Juantanaaameeena, jujeeta juantanameeeeeenaaaa...OK dessert: Pit Roasted sucking pig Oaxacan mole tamales? Dessert: Baked Alaska, or Banana Split. How about Crepes suzette? This is all so 50's. Let's move on.

Right! A chick tied to the wall with chickens, a virgin and christ...Christ. Looks like we're in the 1800's, maybe France. What would Escoffier do? Cuisses de Nymphe Aurore (frog legs). She's tied up so you'll have to either untie her or feed her. I wouldn't untie her. Those chickens look angry, besides...well. Peaches Melba for dessert.

What is Sexy Food

Montenegro is going to be a steak house. There are none in Monterrey, although the people here claim to be "carniveros", there are no options other than the standard "carne asada' joints like El Gaucho and Las Pampas. Montenegro has to offer cuts...options like Kobe, Wagyu, and CAB. Yea, I know that Kobe is Wagyu, but Wagyu does not mean Kobe...OK? So let's call it Texas Wagyu just to avoid any confusion.
Montenegro is me, Goyo, and Jorge Urena. Jorge is Tanaka. Tanaka is sushi, so we have to do fish. It's just too easy, and besides, Monterrey's best sea food is Muelle 17 (heap and cheap). Nobody is doing fine seafood. I think we'll skip the live urchin app though. Also, there have be bars. Not just one bar, three, and that food has to be sexy. Luis de Casas (Nobu) says "sexy sexy sexy" That's like "location location location". We can do sexy food, right? Is beef carpaccio sexy? What is sexy food?
I think popsicles can be sexy, obviously whipped cream or just any dessert. "Sexy" is food that you can look cool while eating, and that means no knife and fork shit, no sauces that drip on your D&G garmet. Sushi is sexy. Chop stiks can be... spoons are for sure. Smells are too! Truffle smells like sex. We call it "sex" in the kitchen at XBox. Figs are sexy. Flames are sexy too. Things that come with drinks are good for obvious reasons.
Here is a list of Sexy Foods from Food and Wine magazine and some comments of mine regarding each: Chocolate mousse (excellent start but "mousse" isn't sexy, I mean the word "mousse"), Lobster Avocado Salad (the lobster should warm and juicy), Candied Rose Petals (this is kitchy and valentines dayish, try not to fall into the trap of thinking that because flowers make a good gifts then they are also good to eat, they are not), chilled Capelini with Clams and Caviar (YES caviar is sexy for sure), Spice Seared Shrimp (spicy is sexy), Asparagus and oyster mushroom fricassee ("fricassee"???...sorry, why not put a goulash in the list), Artichoke and goat cheese agnolotti with truffles (good, but serve the agnolotti on skewers with serveral sauces), Arugula and Pea Shoot Slad with Smoked Salmon (I wonder about fish and if it's sexy or not...like, do you really see yourself kissing someone after eating a big slice of lox?), Chocolate souffle sunday (good, but it's like an olympic diver getting a 10 for a cannonball, the degree of difficulty is just not there), Escargots in Herb Cream (nice, snails, I with you), Golden Strawberry Gratins (no good strawberries in Monterrey), Lobster Salad (what??? didn't we see this before?), Roasted Artichoke-Stuffed Artichoke (sorry, artichokes are great but no wine pair), Banana Tartlets (bananas are a great phallic symbol. Make sure they are not slice into wheels), Crab and Lemon Thyme souffles (Excellent!), French Scrambled Eggs With Truffle Oil (NO Way!), Honey Baked Figs with Ice Cream (too easy), Mussles in Nasturtium Broth (Nasturtium! Your trying to hard dude), Raspberry Custard Tart (easy), Chilled Asparagus with Crab Vinaigrette (wine? I mean asparagus? why always asparaus? Because it's phallic?), Lobster Bisque with Armagnac (sophisticated, expensive, simple, sounds good, rich, creamy) Almond Ricotta Tortellini with Truffle Butter (good, but there's allot of Italian food on the menu allready), Smoked Salmon and Leek Tartlets, Flourless Chocolate-Almond Cakes (oooey-gooey choclate, you can't call this "flourless", it just doesn't sound right. How about "molten"), Scallops Wrapped in Kaffir Lime Leaves (yep), Penne with Asparagus and Artichokes (DID EVERYBODY READ THE SAME LIST OF "SEXY" INGREDIENTS OR WHAT? get out with the ASS-para-GUS and the CHOKE already!!!), Strawberry Tart, Steamed Oysters and Oyster Broth (warm poached belon oyster...good), Fresh figs and Plums in Manzanilla (good! Say the words that make me imagine the way it's going to smell!), Vanilla bean Cheesecake with Walnut Crust (add "warm" to the description and your there), Velvety Leek Soup (yep), Zabaglioni with Strawberries (OK), Warm Chocolate Souffå@ Tarts (Fleming, gotta love her)), Asparagus Glazed with White Truffle Fondue (Sorry, I just can't eat another one), Coconut Crab Cocktail (Yes!), Toasted Bread and Bittersweet Chocolate (good, I like simple...complicated is not sexy), Chicken with port and figs (sorry, chicken with a sloppy sauce is not there), Pomegranate-fennel salad (OK), Truffle infused French Onion Soup (Oh Yes) and Cherries poached in Red Wine with Marscapone Cream (good).
I don't think asparagus is sexy...GUS, GUS ASS-GUS...nope. Artichoke either, although choking...not going there. Niether goes with wine and if you can't have wine with it, then it's not sexy. Also Desserts, thats too easy, Strawberries!...come on! It's a cliché FCS. Sexy is not the same thing as romantic. Sexy is Angelina Jolie. You want to put her in white button down men's shirt (simple), or dress her up in something elegant and very intimidating...stilletos, black, silk, cashmere, metal studs, leather. Avoid, bunny fur, and denim. Assesories are pearls or diamonds. Gold is too easy, she is platinum. Please no costume shit.
How come there was no sushi in this list? Sushi can be very sexy.
From Epicurios I found: Baked Oysters with Bacon and Leeks (don't say "baked", it sound like granny made it), Caramel-Drak Chocolate Truffles with Fleur de Sel (Salt?), Chocolate Heart Layer Cake with Chocolate-Cinnamon Mousse (chocolate-cinnamon-mousse-cake...good, skip the hokey heart shape OK?), Filet Mignon with Truffled Mushroom Ragout (Sorry, "rag-out" is never sexy! RAG? come on!), Foie Gras and Cream Eggs ("GET IN MY BELLY!"), Glazed Raspberry Heart Scones (Hearts are not sexy, just hokey), Gruyere Fondue with Carmelized Shallots (OK, sitting by a fire in some mountain ski lodge on a bear skin rug), Pan roasted Sizzling Shrimp (TRY "SMOKIN'"), Persian Love Cake (OK, THIS IS JUST OVER THE TOP), Roasted Beet Soup with Creme Fråiche.
I am going to sift through these sexy dishes in the next post.

Tyson Blankemeyer and Cafe Xbox

I am a career changer. I was a "Vice President of International Operations" for Lasting Products Inc., a Family business from Dallas Texas, which expanded intro Monterrey Mexico the same year I graduated UT Austin in 1988. We had $20 million in sales and 1,500 emloyees. I married my one true love, Graciela Villarreal, and we hade three children (Elias, Milo and Marisol). In 2001 I decided to become a chef and persue a dream at The Culinary Institute of America at Hyde Park New York. But first I wanted to find out if I had what it takes or if I would even like working in a commercial kitchen, so I asked CIA Chef Guillermo Gonzalez From Pangea (a nice new restaurant here in Monterrey) if I could stage. He grudgingly agreed and I worked every night for a year. Once I was accepted at the CIA, I quit my job and the five of us moved to Red Hook New York.
It was my wife's first time to live anywhere but Monterrey. She was quite home sick. We lived next door to some kids from Bard College. Sam Lucy was our favorite student next door, the night we arrived he was there. I saw his truck first, a 1977 chevy with cow horns wired to the front grill, then him. He was a smiling-round-faced-philly-boy-gardener who would have to help me unload a 48" wolf range I had brought from Austin. My wife "Cherry" became good friends with Clairice (from France), who roomed with Sam. Every day I went to school and she took care of the kids. We saw our first snow, shovelled our first snow, made snowmen, shovelled snow, made igloos, shovelled snow, I borrowed the neighbors snow shovelling machine.
Shortly after our first year there in Red Hook we moved to a smaller house around the corner and I started making pies from the local produce. Things went well. I became known as "The Pie Man". We catered events. Town and Country Magazine came to inerview me, I even hired CIA chefs to work for me. In 2003 my Step-Father had a stroke, I graduated, and we moved back to Blanco Texas to be close the my Mother and Step Father. He improved, so I took a cook's job at The Inn at Dos Brisas in Brenham Texas.
I could write a book about Brenham, it's people, The Inn, It's owner Doug Bosch, My friend and fellow Sous Chef Kevin Reinhold, and our Executive Chef Carl Rynicki, but I won't. After a year, we left Brenham to return to Monterrey, where we have a nice home in the mountains.
Cafe Xbox, a concept created by Me, is a place where you can go and eat great pizza, play great games, and drink great beer. We decided to put it right next to the hottest night spot in town, Sr.Tanaka. Before long we met Francisco Gonzalez. He is a very successful buusinessman in his late 60s (I think). He has this nice 50's house just down the street which hasn't rented in four years. He offered to partener up if we would put a restaurant in it, so we put together a presentation and things went from there.
Pancho sent his son-in-law, Goyo Martinez, for the first presentation. We hit it off. He's like this sharp looking surfer dude, not at all like the spoiled brat I expected. Goyo invited Jorge Urena from Sr.Tanaka to join up, so I presented again to them. They liked it, so they invited a guy named Luis de Casas from Nobu Las Vegas to join. I presented again to him and he liked it so he joined and things seem to be going well. Once we agreed to a fair split, things moved forward rather nicely.
We decided to bring in an advertising agency to prepare a package which we could show to Pancho (the owner of the house) and to possible investors. The add agency would hire architects to work with my wife (an architect as well) to come up with a floor plan that would: 1)always feel energetic; 2)seat plenty of guests 3)flow well 4)respect the integrity of the house. They would also come up with a name and a style.
I put my house up for sale, and began to solicit investors for my part. The investor group would be called "killer Unit SA", The name of the Restaurant would be "Residencia Montenegro". Killer Unit will have to raise $500,000, I've got ZIP.